Lost It All
by Aoi Miyavi
Summary: REVISED: What happens when Sasuke has two boys fighting over his affection: a seductive blast from the past and current boyfriend Gaara. Sasuke can't decide who he wants more. His life long crush, or his misunderstood boyfriend? Yaoi. SasuGaa
1. Chapter 1

**Lost it All**

Aoi: Konnichiwa again everyone. This will be my first ever Naruto story so be proud of me. I'm branching out. Well this is going to be with my two (younger generation) favourite characters: Gaara and Sasuke! Plus it means, so that means it's going to be SasuGaa which really means it's gonna be X-rated. ;; Haha.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters. I do in fact own Miyavi Ichiro who is the small-part original character. Note: He's only in the story to deepen the plot.

**Warning**: It's a yaoi, people, written by Amichan so it's going to have sexual content and language. Do not say I didn't warn you. (but also remember: the whole story isn't going to be like that so don't think I'm some perv -;;)

Chapter One: Sasuke's POV  
Introducing: A blast from the past… Miyavi Ichiro!!

I looked around the room. _What in the world happened last night?_ I rubbed the back of my neck and shook my hair. The skin on my neck felt sticky, like dried sweat. I looked at my fingers, thinking, _Seriously, what happened?_ My hand dropped and I felt something hard. "What?!" I turned quickly and looked down at my hand, spotting a… a guy?!

I pushed back and off the bed, slamming onto the floor. "Whoa! What?! Fire!" The guy woke up immediately and thrust himself up, looking around. He spotted me. "God, Sasuke, you scared me…" He sighed and relaxed, giving me an easy smile.

"How… how do you know my name?!" My heart was speeding. He looked a little familiar but I had no idea who he was. He had messy bleached hair, giant green eyes, light-mocha coloured skin, and a nice smile. Even though I was terrified of him being in my bed –looks like- naked, his persona made me calmer.

"Sasuke, stop playing games, you have to remember last night. It's been the best time I've had forever…" His voice trailed off and he pulled himself to sit on the side of the bed. "It's me, Miyavi… Ichi-chan, I knew you and your brother before he… went insane, and…" He paused, smiling, "And you had the biggest crush on me." He looked up at me.

I froze. He's got to be kidding. The last time I saw Miyavi he was pale… and scrawny… and nothing like this! "Stop playing me." I put my hand on my hip. "Miyavi was a wimp." He laughed. "What?" He shook his head, leaning his elbows on his knees and resting his face in his hands. "No, what?"

"That's what you said last night…" He shook his head and looked back up at me. "So you honestly don't remember? I mean, I know we drank a little, but, wow you must have been really drunk." He sighed.

"I'm… sorry…" I watched him, stepping forward and held my hand out. I wanted to touch him. If he really was Miyavi, he couldn't possibly mind, but, I couldn't. I pulled back my "touch impulse" and kneeled down. "Help me remember." Wow, I'm acting like a wuss. Damn, I need to get out more.

He looked up at me and smiled warmly. "Do you want a reenactment?" I watched as his arms slipped down and I felt his fingers slipping underneath the elastic band on my loose sleeping pants.

"Will it hurt?" I questioned.

"I can't promise."

"How do I know you're really my Miyavi?"

"Because…" He grabbed my hand with his right hand and pulled it to the back of his neck. My fingers trailed his warm skin and I felt something like a… scar? "You're brother left that on me for telling you that when you were older, I'd let you have my heart." He grinned. I flushed madly.

"Miyavi…" I shook my head. I felt tears coming on. I choked them back and let myself wrap my arms around his neck. He was my other "protector" when I was a child. Itachi and he were best friends but Itachi was always keeping us from being alone. I always felt something for him. But once my family was murdered he disappeared with Itachi. The last I heard was that he and Itachi were more than "just friends". I wanted to re-meet him, get to know him again and figure out his most dark depths. "Don't leave again. Konoha isn't much but it's better than wandering."

He pulled me back from him grabbed my chin with his fingers. "Don't worry, you're old enough now." He smiled.

"For wh-" Before I could finish, his lips were on mine. My eyes were wide open and I couldn't move. I was so confused. He did that a lot, I remember. Confuse me. I jumped once I felt his fingers left my chin and intertwined with my own. The touch was so gentle and I felt so safe and right, but, I knew I couldn't be doing this. I was fifteen and how old could he possibly be- 19?!

Once the kiss was broken and pulled back a bit. "Miyavi…" I started. I could do this, I thought. "Miyavi, you have no idea how right I feel here with you, but, you're what… nineteen now? And I'm just fifteen and besides…" I paused. I didn't really want to tell him about Gaara but I guess I had no choice, he was the only excuse I had at the time. "I have someone who's in my life," I continued as he listened patiently, "And right now, he's been all I've ever known. He came in and took over. I gave him a promise I would be there, not here, in my room, with a blast from the past." Whoa, I really said that.

He nodded, shaking his head. "And I'm sorry if we had sex or something and you're…"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa… you think we had sex? No, Sasuke, baby, I didn't have sex with you. You were drunk, I couldn't do that to you. But, look, I see, I understand. This guy must mean a lot to you." He stood and walked right passed me, looking for his clothes. "I just, never forgot about you, all these years. I've always waited for you. Itachi finally didn't give a fuck anymore so we split." He started putting on his clothes.

I blinked. My brother? They split?! I froze. He was walking out, he said goodbye, he was leaving. "Wait, Miyavi!" He was out the door, out of the house. I rushed after him, not caring that I was half naked and not caring if anyone saw. He just admitted to breaking up with _my_ brother for _me_. He just admitted to _loving_ me. And I loved him.

Gaara… fuck Gaara. Right now. Miyavi. Fuck Miyavi.

"Wait!" I called, grabbing my affection's arm. "Just wait…" I whispered.

He turned slowly. "What?" He blinked down at me. He was pissed. But who wouldn't be after that?

"Don't go, you promised you wouldn't." I reminded. "Just… let's figure this out and work it out and…"

"Oi, bitch-!" I heard a very familiar voice behind me.

I turned to spot him. My boyfriend. Gaara. "Hi." I smiled. What was that? Once I saw Gaara I turned into some whipped little puppy? Yeah. That was it.

"Who's your friend?" He asked, rather, demanded an answer with his tone. His hand slid onto my bare back and down to my hip. His fingers went under the elastic. I gulped. Miyavi looked even more pissed.

-Chapter One, End

Aoi: Sorry that was rather short but I needed a place to end it cause I had to switch POVs. ;; Enjoy Chapter Two, coming soon. And please review, they are much loved. Thank you.


	2. Chapter 2

**Lost it All**

_Aoi_: Kunbawa, everyone. Welcome to the second chapter of lost it all. Hope you enjoy and please review away! o -flails-

_Disclaimer_: I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters. I do in fact own Miyavi Ichiro who is the small-part original character. Note: He's only in the story to deepen the plot and make it complex. I like complexity.

**Warning**: Sexual content, language, and violence.

Chapter Two: Gaara's POV

-Almost Discovered

I felt my blood boiling inside my body as I gripped onto my slut's hip. I felt him shiver. I felt his heart beat ten times faster than before. I could hear him inside his head thinking for an answer that would satisfy me; though little did he know that none would. His voice quavered as he answered me, "He's my brother's boyfriend."

_Heh, there's no way he expects me to believe that._

I looked the other guy up and down. He appeared about nineteen, light tan skin, green eyes, bleached hair, and he was simply disgusting. There was no reason to me that Sasuke would be attracted to such a vile looking guy, but, none the less, I couldn't rule out the possibility. "Introduce us, bitch."

"You know, it's not polite to call someone you call your lover a 'bitch', you little fucker." The guy snapped at me. I chuckled. "What's so funny?"

"Gaara…" I heard Uchiha whisper.

"Shut up," I told him and then looked up at the other guy. "I can call Uchiha whatever I want as long as I call him what his is: a slut, a bitch, a whore, and _mine_." I tossed back to him.

I saw him stumble and his whole body shiver. "You little…" He lunged for me but before he could touch me I noticed Uchiha and rushed in between us. I felt his hand on my arm and I watched has his other hand lightly graced the intruder's chest.

"Miyavi… don't…" He said, his voice full of anger.

"Sasuke-kun, you can't let this little… _bitch_ call you those things. You deserve better than that shit." 'Miyavi' exclaimed, stepping back and throwing his hand down.

"He's not usually like this, Miyavi-san, he takes care of me. He can call me whatever he wants." He was right. I owned him. He needed, pleaded for someone to be there and say they would protect him. That's what he told me he wanted. I promised to give that to him and he promised to submit to me.

"Sasuke-kun…" The guy was attempting to plead with Sasuke.

"Just don't leave Konoha, Miyavi, we need to talk more." My little whore told him softly. "But, I think, for now, you should go."

"You're serious?!"

"Please…"

The 'Miyavi' stumbled backwards and rushed off.

_Pathetic._

Sasuke turned and glared at me. "Why the fuck were you being such a bitch?!" He slapped my arm. I chuckled and that turned into a burst of laughter. "Bastard!" He stormed off back inside his house.

"Baby, I was just playing around with you." I calmed down my laughter and followed him. "Sasuke-koi." I caught up with him and grabbed his wrists. "Stop…"

"Get off me! I'm pissed with you!"

"Stop…" I turned him around. He struggled as I pulled him into me. "Stop…" He held his face as far away as he could. I grinded my body up against his and I saw him trapping back a moan. "Koi…" I pushed him into me harder and he arched into me. "Good boy."

"I could really hate you…"

"I know…"

He gave in and I started my usual torments on his neck. My tongue, teeth, and lips consumed his warm skin. He felt so wonderful in my mouth and every gasp I heard escape from his throat went straight to my pants.

"Oh Gaa-kun, I think you can eat more than Kobayashi…" He grinned and I did as well. I knew I could and I would. I bit down on my lover's neck. I heard him moan and his fingers gripped my hair, holding me to his neck. "Harder…" He gasped. I obliged.

We quickened our pace and kissed each other fiercely. Our tongues were discovering new parts of our mouths that we never realized were so pleasurably appetizing. His fingers roamed my body as if he was looking for something. Once I noticed my clothes being pealed from my extremely warm body, I knew he found what he was looking for. I separated myself from him after my clothes were completely dismembered and I reclined back on the bed. "Strip." I ordered, leaning over and turning on the stereo.

_Break me down, you got a lovely face._

"Gaara…" He cooed. He obviously knew the song. I had no idea what it was but he was grinning from ear to ear. His fingers played around his body.

_We're going to your place, and now you've got your 'freak me' on._

His fingers slipped under his elastic band on his pants and snapped them before dropping them to the floor.

_Scream so loud, getting fucking laid. You want me to stay, but I got to make my way._

The chair positioned up against the wall, facing the bed, became his new stage. I watched him wide-eyed. I knew exactly what he was going to do. His back was facing me, his head was turned to watch me, and he began sucking on his fingers teasingly.

_Hey, you're a crazy bitch but you fuck so good I'm on top of it. When I dream, I'm doing you all night. Scratches all down my back- we're keeping right on._

After he was finished with his fingers, the pale slender miracles slid down his porcelain skin body and down to… no, he wouldn't. Those fingers hovered right over his opening. _My_ opening. "No…" I whispered.

The words became background noise as I watched him pleasure himself right in front of me. One finger. Two fingers. Three fingers. He moaned and moved them in and out. I was going crazy from my front row seat.

_Crazy bitch, crazy bitch…_

I felt myself coming to my climax. I was going to orgasm. I knew it.

_You're crazy, but I like the way you-_

"FUCK ME!" I exclaimed right as my cum spew all over his sheets.

"Oh dirty Gaa-seme…" Uchiha was already up on me when I opened my eyes. He leaned down and started lapping up my seed. "But oh so yummy." I felt myself growing hard again just watching him.

"Sasu, please… you know I never beg but… I demand not to be teased." I whispered. He turned off the radio suddenly and met my lips with his own, delivering a bruising kiss.

I pushed him back on top of him and grinded into him as we kissed continuously. I felt his fingers wrap around my shaft and he began pumping it. I pushed into his grip and we continued to kiss. "What are you doing?" I asked after our kiss broke and he continued to work me.

"Making you really hard…"

"I already am…"

"Then fuck me."

I happily obliged. My hands separated his thighs and leaned away from him, flipping him over onto his stomach. He arched his back up, moving into a cat-crawl position and I kneeled behind him. "Rough?"

"And fast."

I grinned and leaned down to suck his opening for lubricant. I felt him shiver. I was over top of him, gained balance, and let my tip hover over his ass. "One…"

His body tensed.

"Two…"

His legs embraced mine.

"Three…"

His head was tossed back in abandon and I couldn't hold back any longer.

"Just go now, dammit!"

I slammed into him and he screamed out in ecstasy. My pace remained fast and rough, like he wanted. The only sound in the whole room was the slapping contact of warm skin on warm skin, Sasuke moaned in pleasure, and my teeth grinding together.

I felt so alive every time we connected like this. Our relationship began a year ago but we kept it a secret and we never did anything like sex until the past two months. It wasn't about the sex and though I hated to admit it but I was in love with him. I wanted him to be in love with me, but no one could honestly love me. I was hideously disgusting. I was even worse than that Miyavi…

"Ah!" I climaxed into Sasuke and he mimicked me on the sheets.

I pulled out of him and we managed to push the top comforter off the bed and pull ourselves under the sheets. We lay there, sideways on the bed, his head on my chest, my fingers in his hair, our feet dangling off the side. I was actually happy, for once in my life, at that moment. "Sasuke…"

He nuzzled his head in my shoulder blade and his body was almost lifeless on top of me. "Yeah, Gaa-kun?" He sounded rather content and adorable. That was unlike him, definitely.

I hesitated and took a deep breath, closing my eyes. "I think… I love you, Sasuke-kun." I felt his breathing on my neck stop and I opened my eyes.

_Shit…_

-Chapter Two End-


	3. Chapter 3

: Hey, finally I got my laptop so you get more of the story. Sorry it took so long for Chapter 3 to be written. I was actually on a little brain freeze as for what to write. But I am glad to say that I have finally thought of somewhat of an idea. Plus, leave reviews please (please please please!) because I am at a loss on who should really end up with Sasuke: Miyavi or Gaara. It's up to you! ; there you go. 

**WARNING**: If I wrote it, it's gonna be some boyboy mature love and some language.

**Chapter 3 (Sasuke's POV)**

It shouldn't be that strange for me to hear him say that. Isn't that what people say to each other when they've been in a relationship for as long as Gaara and I have? But that was exactly it… it was Gaara saying. I recalled countless of times where I was seriously debating wether to tell him that I loved him (I, of course, loved someone more, because I could never let that person go but…) but I never would tell him.

"Are you sick?" I asked, too quickly for him I could tell. His face had a sign of pure shock on it but I wasn't kidding at all.

Gaara looked really pissed off. I blinked. I really wasn't kidding. "Sasuke, if you're just going to make fun of me then I change my mind." He pulled away and removed himself from my side completely.

"I'm not joking around!" I leaned up and looked at him. "You're not one to say such things…" I turned my attention to my hands that were now in my lap. My head was spinning. Gaara and I had had our undercover relationship for a while. I have to admit, he's nicer to me when no one was around… obviously, but, he would never say he loved ANYONE.

"Kekun," He never called me that either. Unless, he wronged me, because I fell for that nickname. I felt his hands on my face and I was being made to look into his piercing eyes. He smiled in his little Gaara way (a half crooked smile that seemed almost painful) and I smiled back. I lightly reached up and touched the 'love' on his forehead as he pulled my hair out of my face so he could see me. "I really do love you."

I smiled and shook my head. "You are insane, Rakun."

He laughed, "I know." He leaned into me and kissed me. I kissed him back and pushed myself into my place in his lap. I straddled him and I know he didn't mind.

"How did we get this far?" I asked him softly after the kiss. He grabbed my hands and they rested in his lap and we just sat there in silence; foreheads touching and hair covering our shy faces. "Hm?" I finally sounded after a couple minutes of this.

"I don't know…" He whispered back.

"What would mommy think?" I teased him gently.

"Mommy would deny having a young son," He grinned and nipped at my bottom lip.

I laughed and fought him back with my mouth. I returned the nips with pulls and tugs on his bottom lip and he pushed me into a kiss and I fell backwards on the bed. He pulled away and grinned, pushing my legs up in the air. "Hey!" I laughed uncontrollably.

"It wouldn't be rape… you'd enjoy it too much."

"Gakunnnn!" I laughed and forced my legs back on the bed. He leaned over me and kissed me again before whispering,

"Put some clothes on. We're going out." I looked at him wide-eyed as he pulled away and off of the bed. He scavenged the room for new clothes.

"Wait…" I shot myself up and looked at him. "What?!"

"I'm gonna take you out, it's time we did something outside of this fucking room." Gaara never ceased to amaze me. He dressed with such elegance and spoke so smoothly. It was great being with him, really, but Miyavi. A blast from the past… a very attractive blast from the past.

I finally stood and walked over to a place beside Gaara and found my own clothes. I dressed and entered the bathroom to spruce myself up for public eye. I was excited. Miyavi was amazing. No… Gaara. Dammit. This is insane. Where the hell did I get off getting drunk with an old crush? I am such an idiot sometimes.

After I made myself pleasant enough for people (hair, clean face, etc.) I returned to our room to find Gaara gone. "Gaakun?" I looked around. He wasn't there. I walked into the hallway. "Gaakun!" I called. I called again, louder: "Gaara!" No answer. "Bastard! I knew he was kidding!" I rushed down the steps and there he was. "Why didn't you…" I stopped. In his hands was a random ribbon. I looked at it and then looked at his grinning face. "What's that for?" I asked.

He held it out to me, "Tie it on my wrist good and tight." I froze completely. What was he thinking? He was going to be out in PUBLIC wearing a RAINBOW ribbon with ME. Everyone in Konoha knew I was gay. I was the homosexual whore of Konoha. That was my new reputation. Not that I minded, I mean, that's how I got with Gaara and it must have been how I saw Miyavi again.

"Gaara, you don't have to do that." I told him.

"Tie it."

I sighed and took the ribbon, tying it like he wanted it: good and tight. "Are you sure?" He looked at me. Just looked at me. I looked away. "Nevermind." He then grabbed my hand and walked out of the door. I followed him. He would let go of my hand like he always did… NOW. No. He still had it. I looked down at our hands. Okay… NOW! Damn. He still had it. He was going to kill me. I let go. He stopped and turned to me.

"Am I no longer your boyfriend?" He asked in a normal voice. We were out in the street now and I looked around. People had heard him. People were watching. Was this a morbid test of his? I shrugged. "Hold my hand." He took my hand again and started walking. "Are you hungry?" He asked me.

"A little." I nodded.

We walked farther. I watched as the people staring at him. I didn't want him getting his own reputation because of me. He would end up hating ME for it. Like always. Everything was my fault. But. Maybe that was Gaara. I shook my head and looked back to where we were going, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone.

Then. I got the eye contact from the one person I had been wanting to avoid it from: Miyavi.

He was talking to a girl. He was FLIRTING with a GIRL. He looked away from me and then to the girl, whispering something, then looking back to me. He was trying to make me jealous. Stop. I looked at Gaara. "Ramen?" I shrugged. Shit. No. Miyavi was…

"Miyavi."

"Gaara."

We walked right passed him. Once we entered the little ramen hut we sat down at the counter. He still had my hand and he sat, facing me. "Here, you order for us, I'll be right back." He leaned in and kissed me. I blinked and froze completely as he walked off to the outside of the ramen hut.

When I gained control of myself, I ordered to bowls for us. Original for him, spicy for me. I felt a hand on my back as I was finally relaxing and when I turned around to see who it was my lips were being touched, opened, intruded by someone else's mouth. Their hand went to my cheek and held me in the kiss. When they pulled away. I looked at them. "Miyavi, you're going to get me killed!"

"Itachi said you were old enough, and I know I'm not the only one who wants us," He smiled at me. I blushed completely, I know I was.

This was bad…


	4. Chapter 4

Aoi: I have finally decided to actually write and FINISH this story. I have gotten a lot of Story Alerts and Faves and such. I really would LOVE reviews still as well. Thank you!! I am very excited, please enjoy Chapter 4. Also, I promise to write faster and more. We had a long weekend so I'm doing two chapters a day until I finish. This story has no specific plotline yet so if I go back and change anything… I'll let you know.

**WARNING** : You know the drill.

_Chapter 4_ Miyavi's POV

My hand had made his final resting spot on the crook in Sasuke's neck. He just looked up at me, red faced and all. I grinned. He cast his eyes away. "Please don't do this… Gaara's just around the corner." He said this in almost a whisper.

I pretended not to hear him. "Sakun, can we meet up later?" I asked quickly, I knew Gaara would be back soon.

"You don't understand, Miyavi…" He replied.

"You want to." I told him and he nodded. I knew he did. He knew he did.

"Fine… just for a few minutes though. I'll meet you at eleven tonight outside the Konoha gate. Eleven sharp, I'm not waiting around for you." He told me quickly. He probably felt Gaara coming closer.

"All right." I pulled my hand away slowly. I smiled and walked to the corner of the restaurant and watched as Gaara came in and walked right passed me and returned to Sasuke. I grinned and slipped outside.

My steps were a slow saunter as I walked through the streets of Konoha, smile on my face. (**Aoi**: Remember, this is extreme Aoichan's imaginary Konoha, children.) It's all about the he said she said bullshit... I blinked and grabbed my phone, answering it, "Ichiro speaking."

"Ichiro, it's Kisame."

"Hey, what's wrong?" I stopped in mid-step. Kisame _never_ called me, and if he did, it was a big emergency.

"Itachi, as always." He sighed.

"What's wrong with him, though?" I started to walk again, slower than before.

"He says he's 'ill' and you should come home to 'help' is 'ales'." I heard a tone in his voice. "I don't know why he keeps me around, he has you. Nah, correction, he wants you. You're his puppy: he calls you, you come." He was upset, of course. He's followed Itachi faithfully and still Itachi wanted me. I didn't know for sure if Kisame was like me when it came to his "heart's loyalties", but, it sure seemed like it. Itachi wasn't my type anyway. I went for the emotionally traumatized type.

"What do you want me to do, Kisame?" I didn't want to piss him off.

"Come back."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, if you don't, Itachi would kill me anyways… KISAME! Oh, shit. KISAME IS THAT AOI? Yessir. LET ME TALK TO HIM! Sir… Ami! Where are you? Have you seen my brother?" Oh no, this was the trap.

"Konoha, and yes, I have." Shit. The truth? Bad move..? Good move..?

"Well…?" Okay move.

"I saw him, he… didn't remember me." Not a complete lie, but close.

"How tragic." He was happy. I heard it in his voice. "So Kisame's informed you of my ill state?"

"Yes. Should I return?"

"Yes, beautiful, that would be best."

"All right." I sighed to myself. I wouldn't be able to meet Sasuke like I had hoped. "I'm on my way."

"Good, see you soon?" I paused. I could milk the part of me being out of reach.

"Itakun, I was thinking, could I possibly just start fresh tomorrow? It's been a long day and I don't think I can travel all that way by dark anyhow." And now… wait.

"Oh…"

Oh? Oh. Oh was a weird response. I hated weird responses. "It would mean a lot to me if you would let me."

"Well I am sure I won't die by tomorrow." SCORE!! I did a little dance to in my head. "Bye, Aoi, be here early."

"Yessir. Bye, Itakun." I hung up my phone and continued walking. Five more hours and I would be seeing my Sasukun again.

How lovely the world was…

(Short chapter because… Miyavi needs to wait five frickin hours alone. Kaythanks. :D)


	5. Chapter 5

Aoi: NOTE- the remainder of this story until the end will be Sasuke's point of view. After this chapter I won't be saying who's POV it is, so, know it's Sasuke. Thanks and sorry for the wait.

**WARNING;;** language & strong sexual scenes close to the end

_Chapter 5_

It was 10:45 and Gaara was still awake. "Aren't you tired, Gaakun?" I looked at him. He was sittingon our bed reading some extremely boring book. I crawled off the bed and onto my feet. He didn't answer so I started to change.

"Where are you going at 10:40, Sasuke?" I ignored him. If he wasn't going to answer my quesion, I sure as hell wasn't going his. "Sasuke?"

"What?" I pulled on a black sweater and turned around to face him.

"Where are you going so late?" He asked again. I rolled my eyes and went to the bathroom to check my eyes. Being, now, openly gay finally gave me an excuse to accentuate my eyes like some girls did. Inside, I was a little girl with a drawer full of her mommy's makeup and an assload of cash to refill it.

"Fine, if you get raped, I'm not caring." I reapplied the deep purple shadow on my eye and grinned. He would care. Alot. He would care more than I would if someone else touched me. Scatch that, if someone else even SAW me. I darkened the line underneath my eye before stepping back to examine myself one last time.

I walked back in the bedroom and over to the bed. "I'll be back later. I need a walk." I leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Don't wait up."

Gaara shook his head, beginning to read again. I left the house and started making my way to the Konoha gates. He was probably there already. It was five til and I would be right on time.

My stomach was in a giant knot. Every emotion going through my heart was arguing with every sane thought in my head. Miyavi. Aoi-Ichiro Miyavi. Amikun. No. No 'kun'. He is too 'wow' to have a title. The god of my heart since I was young. You like when my parents were alive. He was their from the beginning. Gone like the others. But. Itachi couldn't kill Ami. No one could. He was too nice. Too sneaky and nice. Too amazing. But that was just my opinion.

I doubt Ami was as perfect as I thought. First loves are always exaggerated. Skewed to perfection. Well, statistically speaking. Only a few really were that great. Which is why a lot of people hate themselves for letting those people go. Ami used to be sweet, mellow, and caring. Now he seems to be a tease, sneaky, and seductive. Not that I minded. But. He was different.

I finally reached the gate and I pushed on it slowly and slipped out a small crack I made. There was a rustle behind me and then someone covered my mouth and grabbed their hand and struggled to pull it off. This person was strong and warm. Such a contrast to the weather around. When I finally pulled the hand off my mouth, I screamed, "Get the fuck off me!" Obviously. I pushed with all my might and finally got away.

"You sure have gotten stronger." I turned to see a man a little taller than me in a light gray tank top and baggy jeans that revealed a pair of red boxers. His bleached hair showed visibly in the light while his eyes looked a dimmer green than before, an olive green. He skin tone looked perfect with the colour of his shirt. The moonlight hit that skin magically and a shiver shot up my spine. Ami. "I finally get you sober and alone and you're going to stare?" He grinned and placed a slender hand on his boney hip.

I lunged forward at him and shot my arms up and wrapped them around his neck. He stepped forward and caught me, twirling me around. "I can't believe I missed last night." I said softly. I wanted to be in that moment. Whatever might have happened. At least this wouldn't feel like the first time touching him.

"You're boyfriend would kill me if you knew what happened." He reached down and cupped my bottom when I wrapped my legs around his waist. His hands were soft. Not boney like they seemed.

I leaned my upper body back to look at him. I was confused. "I thought you said we didn't have sex." I looked into his eyes for the answer. I didn't care if he even said anything. I just wanted to know what happened.

"Well, we didn't." He pushed me up against the Konoha wall and grinned right in my face. "You kissed me _alot_ though." He rubbed our noses together and I pulled him closer to me.

"I kissed you?" I questioned. I knew this was highly possible.

"Lots." He moved his head back to look into my eyes. "And you made me do..." He looked down to my groin and then back into my eyes, continuing, "something." He grinned.

He was playing with me at this point. He didn't have to tell me what happened. I knew he was lying. I could read liars. He was sincere. Just scarily pleased. No, not scary. I was pleased too. If he **really** did that. I doubt I minded one bit. I probably really enjoyed it and mouth raped him. I was known to be forward like that. "Did I like it?" I played right back. Grin and all.

"I hope so." He smiled and chuckled at this. "I put my heart into pleasing you."

I smiled and turned my head up to the stars, eyes closed, before looking back at him. "I don't know. You might have to try again. I don't remember."

He laughed. "Oh really?" He shook his head. "That's a little unfair don't you think? What do I get?" He gave me a questioning look. "Hm?" That grin appeared again. He was irresistable. I don't think he had ever been turned down.

I smiled. "My moans." I touched my nose up to his like he did before.

"Mmm. That sounds wonderful." He closed his eyes, still grinning. Probably remembering last nights events. My pants were getting tighter and the air was still cool around us. He opened his eyes and looked down at our groins tight up against each other. "Excited?"

"I wouldn't talk." He laughed at me comeback. He laughed at all my jokes when I was younger. No matter how lame they were. I even remember when I was younger, when I first found out what a blowjob was. He was there. He told me you save that opportunity for someone you truly care about and who truly cares about you back. I asked him if I could give him one. He laughed and said 'it is way too big for your mouth'.

I loved when he told me things like that. It always gave me something to look forward to when I was older. Now. I was ready for it. So so ready.

"But, Gaara once again would kill me." That name. "He wouldn't like me touching you illegally when you're sober." Gaakun. Oh shit, Gaakun. My boyfriend since I was fifteen. He would be so heartbroken. He couldn't even understand first loves because I'm his first love. Ami. I've waited for this moment all of my life. I couldn't even think about seeing anyone else going down on me. That's when I met Gaara and I gave in. After one month of being with him, I let him have me. Every single inch of me. I gave that to him. He took. Devoured it. And... and I liked it.

But Ami. He let me down and I stood up against the wall. I closed my eyes. "Sasuke? Are you okay?" I felt his hands on me. One hand caressing my cheek and the other hand on my waist. I was so calm but so confused. So torn. Gaara. I gave him everything special and I loved him for everything. But Ami. In the back of my mind, he's always been there. And there he was. Right in front of me and holding me. Asking if I was okay. "Sasuke...?"

I slowly opened my eyes. I didn't know what to say. I nodded. He smiled and slowly inched in. I felt his face grow closer to mine. The hand once touching my cheek had made its way to my chin and he had me locked for a kiss. I couldn't move. Couldn't turn away. I wanted it. But Gaara.

Our faces inched together. His lips brushed mine. I heard a faint sound like wood rubbing together. So close now. There was no turning back. I was finally getting my long awaited kiss.

"...Sasukun?"

**(dun dun duuuuuuuuuuun)**


	6. Chapter 6

**WARNING;;;** roflwaffles

_Chapter 6_

I pushed Ami off of me and then looked to my left to see a pair of deep blue eyes staring at me. "What the hell?! Scaring me like that!" I glared at our intruder.

"What the hell are you doing with him?" He pointed to Ami. Ami smiled. I smiled. We smiled. At each other.

"Because..." I grabbed Ami and hugged him.

"You're a freaking whore."

"And Gaara knew this when we started this whole thing."

"Not THIS whole thing. He sure as hell doesn't know about YOUR whole thing with THIS guy." His voice was louder now, more assertive. Unlike him.

"They've met." I grinned.

"SASUKE." He was growling now. He liked Gaara. They were half-friends to Gaara but to Naruto... they were the closest friends as they could possibly be.

"Don't pull that whole rough tone with me, Naruto, you're the one prying."

"And you're the one cheating and not even giving a shit! If I was Gaara you'd be making some lame ass excuse."

"No, I'd be leaving Ami, and sexually apologizing to Gaara and then coming BACK to Ami." Shit. Did I _really_ just say that?

"Kekun..." I heard another voice. My whole body tensed and I felt my stomach do a flip. I looked up to see another person, coming out the gate where Naruto had come in the picture. Hands trembling, I knew who it was. Gaara.

I felt Ami push away from me and make a distance between us. I choked, trying to speak, "Rakun.. I.." I couldn't continue. I was out of it. This was so dream like. I was secretly a whore... but more of a mind fuck. But tonight. Tonight I was going to be doing both. Physically... and emotionally.

"I don't.. think I want to hear you talk, Sasuke."

"But Rakun... I was just... I..." I didn't know what I was doing.

"Uchiha." A shiver shot up my spine. But not the good kind. My heart hurt. So, so bad. Gaara hadn't called me that in years. Before we were together. Before he told me he loved me. And now... when I mess up. He spoke again. "Is it me or him?"

Oh. The pain shot through my beating heart again. I knew this, whatever happened, was going to make my heart stop beating. For a long, long time. I looked at Ami then looked at Gaara and then to Naruto. Ami couldn't even look at me. Naruto could not stand near me. Gaara. Gaara just stared at me. Hard staring. I almost balled just looking at him.

I avoided eye contact with any of them. "I should go..." I heard Ami say.

"No. You stay. You're hearing this responce." Gaara sounded immediately after him. "Uchiha. What's your answer then, _slut_?" The way he said that last word... I just wanted to kill myself.

"Rakun... please..."

"NO. YOU'RE NOT FUCKING PULLING ME BACK INTO! YOU'RE A WASTE OF MY FUCKING TIME. ALWAYS HAVE BEEN! I JUST HAD FUCKING HOPE IN YOU." He was angry. So, so angry. His voice was so loud and angry that I heard dogs wake up and start barking. "You know..." He looked right into my eyes. "Even though you've always been a _fucking_ slut. I knew. I thought I knew... that you were sincere. That you **cared**. But, I guess not." Then. He was gone.

My whole body went limp and I collapsed. "Sasuke!" Naruto rushed down beside me and caught my head before it hit the ground. My head was spinning. Heart was pounding. My whole body soar. And Ami became a faint blur. Naruto's eyes were no longer visible.

Everything suddenly became...

dark.


	7. Chapter 7

Aoi: I'm sorry the chapters seem so short on here but when I'm on WordPad they look extremely long and thick. The last chapter though, was kind of short, but, it was a fast scene. This one is short too because I'm still thinking about what I'm going to do. Thank you for the reviews! Keep them coming! And I only have ONE opinion on who Sasuke ends up with. Please review and tell me if you think he should end up with Gaara, Ami, or himself. XD Enjoy.

**WARNING;;**

_Shhhhapter Sheven_

Boom. Buh boom. Buh boom. Buh boom. I could I my heart beating in my head. It was loud. Pounding. Piercing. I slowly opened my eyes to see the window curtains wide open and the sunlight from outside blinded me. Was last night a dream? I leaned forward and looked around. No sign of Gaara. I sighed. It was real. Gaara never left while I was asleep. Ever.

I scooted off the edge of the bed and closed the curtains. "Dammit." I turned around and rubbed my forehead. "This is so ridiculous." I fell back on my bed. "Why am I such an idiot?"

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air...  


"I don't know, why are you?" I heard a very, very familiar voice from behind me. I shot up like a rocket that's fuse had just been lit. I turned and there he was. Standing in all his glory. Gaara. I knew at that moment there was a wide smile that came across my face.

I'm here alone, didn't want to leave

"Gaara..." I whispered. I was afraid _this_ was the dream. He leaned on the bedroom door panel. We just stared at each other. He was so gorgeous. So strong. So... perfect. Why did I even do that last night? "Gaara.. I... I don't know what happened last night."

"I do. You almost cheated." He said this as if he read it out of a history book. Pure fact. No fiction. My breathe caught in my throat and I tried to relax. I couldn't...

Wish there was a way for me to make you understand

"I don't know why I even thought about it... even considered..."

"It was Miyavi." There he went with the last names again. He continued, "Aoi-Ichiro Miyavi. The blast from the past. You wanted to see if it was worth it." He switched positions and stretched. "It's no big deal, I don't care anymore."

"Why are you here then? If you _don't_ care, Gaara." I snapped this at him. Sarcastically. Very sarcastically.

But how do you expect me to live alone with just me

"If I wanted to be alone, I'd be gone, Sasuke." That's a start. When he said my name, my whole world came crumbling down. I loved when he said my name. It was like he was born to say it and only him.

Cause my world revolves you and it's so hard for me to breathe

He continued. "Like I told you last night, I love you." My heart stopped. How could he? How could anyone? How could **he **love me after what happened?! My body went limp again. I held my self help, trying to keep my body to lunge at him. "But I deserve an apolo-"

"A MILLION APOLOGIZES! I'll do WHATEVER, Rakun...!" I cut him off. He looked down at me and before I knew it he was kneeling in front of me. On the bed.

I walked, I ran, I jump, I flew

"Really?"

Right off the ground, to flow to you

"Anything it takes..."

There's no gravity to hold me down, for real

"Kiss me and never let history repeat itself."

But somehow I'm still alive inside

I nodded. "Anything..." Our faces inched closer.

Took my breath but I survived

Closer. Closer. He was back. He was back. I had him. He was mine. He never left me. Ever. Not like Ami. Ami left me countless of times. Like last night. He left me there too. But Gaara. Gaara never left.

I don't know how, but I don't even care

Finally. When our lips met I felt so complete. I felt like every pain washed away. He had me. He was in my grasp. So close. Right there. His hands slid over to me and pushed me gently backwards onto my back. His hips were positioned on top of my and I wrapped my legs around his waste, pulling him closer to me.

So how do you expect me to live alone with just me

He was there. Right there. Kissing me. Holding me close to him. Adventuring my body more than he had ever down before. His hips ground down on mine and I arched my back. This was it. This was what we were made for. Being here for each other. Loving each other. I couldn't even think of Ami. Not here. Not in this moment.

Cause my whole world revolves around you

He was kissing my neck now. Our shirts were off. His body was cool up against mine. He felt good. Smooth and soft. With every scar and bump and strand of hair and inch of muscles. I loved it all. Every single centimeter of his body was mine and perfect.

"Kekun..." Gaara moaned in my ear. "We're old enough for this. We're finally old enough."

"What?" I whispered to him. He was probably talking shit like he always did when he was high on sexual hormones.

"We're old enough for something this serious. Our first fight and we survived. You're old enough." I'm old enough... someone else told me this...

_He pulled me back from him grabbed my chin with his fingers. "Don't worry, you're old enough now." He smiled._

"_For wh-" Before I could finish, his lips were on mine. My eyes were wide open and I couldn't move._

I jumped back and pushed Gaara up and off me... why? Why was I thinking about **him**?

"_I just, never forgot about you, all these years. I've always waited for you._

It's so hard for me to breathe...


	8. Chapter 8

Aoi: Omg, I know you all (who are reading) probably want to kill me. It's been a while since I last wrote and that's because of school. I had an F in two classes that I seriously needed to bring up. Granted, one is a D+ now and the other is a D but still... it's enough improvement to be able to write a new chapter. :D Reviews please!

**WARNING;;;** bow chika wow ow

_Cha-pap-ter Eyyyy-ate_

"Sasuke, what the hell is your problem?" Gaara pushed me back on my back and looked down at me. He was kneeling over me. "Why the hell are you so confused?" He sat back and was sitting in between my legs. "Why the hell don't you want me all of a sudden?"

I leaned up on my elbows and looked at him. "Gaara, don't fucking say that."

"Then what is it, Sasuke? What is it?" I couldn't answer. I didn't know what to say. I just leaned up and kissed him. He resisted at first but I pursued him. We continued kissing and I eventually pulled him back down on top of me. He pulled up for a second to speak, "Stop..." He tried pulling away.

I pulled him back down so I could whisper in his ear. "Don't talk." I blew. "Just pound me through the bed." I blew again. "I want to make love all over this house." I nipped at his ear as I ground my hips upwards and slid my legs around his waste. "Make it last."

xXx

"Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit." Gaara leaned back on the bed. He was too tired to bother putting his clothes. I looked down at him from my sitting position beside him. "Kekun, you worked me so hard."

I grinned and leaned over him and kissed him gently. "I know." I got off the bed and glided out the room and to the bathroom. "Shower time!" I called back once I left the room.

"Don't get lost!" Gaara yelled back. I nodded and laughed a little. "I'm serious!"

I always took hour long showers. I couldn't take anything shorter than that. I opened the door of the bathroom and looked at my body in the mirror after shutting the door. "Damn." I leaned in to wipe off the leftover eye liner under my eyes. "I can't believe Gaara fucked me like this." After stepping back from the mirror and stretched, watching myself. He really loved me. I mean, I'm his first boyfriend and I have a nice body. I doubt it was because of my personality. I was a bitch.

My hands extended and I brought them back down on my body. I let my fingers brush my skin as I stared at myself. I was so vain. I probably didn't even have the right to be. Dammit. I stopped playing with myself and turned my attention to the shower. Turning it on, I danced and started 'singing' a song I heard while Gaara were... playing. "Okay, lil mama had a swag like mine, she even wear her hair down her back like mine. I make her feel right when it's wrong like lyin." I smiled and got the water ready. Once I was inside, I began 'singing' again. "Shorty says I'm li-li-li-li-li-like a lollipop." I kept smiling while I took my shower.

xXx

After my shower, I went in my bedroom to find Gaara wrapped up and on the bed, sleeping. I smiled and walked over to kiss his forehead. He didn't move. I continued to get dressed and went back to the bathroom to fix my hair. It took me twenty minutes to fix it. Once my hair was finished I was ready to chill. I walked into my living room and sat on the couch. That couch was the first place Gaara and I had sex. I grinned and turned on the TV while I was rubbing the seat next to me. "Sex and the City!" I smiled and curled up with one of the couch pillows and watched my favourite television show.

Knock. Knock.

I looked to my left and at the front door. Was it the door? I didn't really care. I didn't want to answer it.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Shiiiiit. Leave me alone. I continued to sit on the couch.

Knock. Knock. KnockKnock. Knock. Knock-Knock.

I shot up, threw my pillow on the ground and stomped to the front door. "What the hell do you want?!" I threw open the door and looked at the one who was disturbing my relaxing. "Oh..."

"Hey, Sasuke-kun." It was Kakashi-sensei. I hadn't seen him since I was 15 and left his supervision as a student. Shortly after, Gaara and I started dating.


	9. Chapter 9

Aoi: Here's Chapter 9. It's the summer and next year I start my senior yeaar. YAY! Enjoyy. ps- Sorry Chapter 8 & 9 are so short. I'm drawing out the scenes to add more effect when the ending comes. :D

**WARNING;;** omjeez

_Chapitre Neuf_

"Kakashi-sensei." I smiled and jumped up into my old teacher's arms. "It's been forever!" He surprisingly hugged me back and then put me back on my own two feet. I stepped back and looked him up and down. He hadn't changed much. He actually looked quite nice still. I was glad.

"You're happier than I remembered." He chuckled and pushed his way past me to come inside.

"I just had sex, I'm in a good fucking mood." I told him as I shut the door. I followed him as he walked around my house, looking. "Can I help you?"

"Who did you have sex with?" He turned around and looked down at me. I knew that look. It was a look my parents would probably give me if they heard me say that. I looked away and he turned to my bedroom. Peaking inside, he saw the other body on the bed. "Oh." He said. "You two are still together?"

I nodded and went to sit on the couch, continuing to watch the muted Sex and the City on the television. "Is that a problem?"

"No. Just asking." He joined me on the couch and reclined a bit. "Have you heard from your brother?" I felt his eye burning through the side of my face.

"Um, no, I don't plan on it either! Why?" I looked over at him. My blood was boiling. My stomach turned into a knot. I hated Itachi. I hated when people brought him up.

"Because I heard some really exciting news today; I wanted to share it with you." He looked right in my eyes. "You remember that boy that ran around with your brother when you both were younger?" I nodded. "His name was Aoi Ichiro Miyavi, correct?" I nodded again. "Well I heard he gave you a little visit." I nodded, slower this time. What was he getting at? "Watch out for him." I blinked. What the hell... "Apparently Itachi sent him here to get close to you and murder Gaara. So when I asked if you and Gaara were still together and I said it _wasn't_ a problem... I lied."

I was frozen. I didn't know what to say or what to do. I just stared at him. Soon my eyes moved to my room. The door was half open and I saw Gaara sleeping peacefully on the bed. Why would Itachi want Gaara dead? How the hell did he even know about Gaara? I kept watching Rakun. "Why?"

"Why would Itachi want to kill Gaara?" I nodded. "Because you're happy. I'm not sure if that's right, but, Sasuke, he killed your family. He wants you to hate him. I bet he thinks if he kills Gaara you'll be more depressed than ever." My body just colapsed deep into the couch. Kakashi jumped up and pulled me to him. "Sasuke?"

"Kakashi, why the hell does he hate me? He's my own fucking blood!" I felt something coming on. My stomach was in tighter knots. I was so nausious. "If I lost Gaara completely... if Gaara died... I would kill him. Itachi and Miyavi. I'd hate him so fucking much!" I covered my face. I knew I was going to cry soon. I rarely cried. Except for occasions like these.

But I didn't cry. I was too sick to cry. I wasn't going to waste tears. "Kakashi..."

He hugged me. I curled up in a ball under him and just shivered. I was so upset. "There, there." I heard Sensei whisper. I closed my eyes tightly and waited for the worst. My body was achey all over.


	10. Chapter 10

Aoi: You all are going to kill me... this is the end... this is the last commentary of my beloved self. I love you all! Thank you for my wonderful reviews! And if you like Harry Potter check out my other story. This story and the Harry Potter story are my only original character stories, don't worry. I'll be writing a sequel to this (spoiler). (Another spoiler) there's more Itachi coming... hehe. Go READ! :D

_Chapter Ten_

"Kakashi-sama." I heard Gaara's voice. "Sasuke?!" There was panic in his voice. I heard his footsteps approach the couch. Sensei moved and Gaara took his place. "Are you okay?!" He looked me up and down and placed his hands on both of my cheeks, making me look at him.

"Yeah..." I choked on my words. I was still shaking. I would probably hyperventilate if I had the ability. "Just a little pissed."

"A little?" Gaara looked at Sensei. "What the hell did you do?"

"It wasn't Sensei, Gaara! Don't be so fucking rude!" I pushed him off me and hugged my knees. "He opened my fucking eyes!" There couldn't have been anything worse that could have happened to us. I just yelled at Gaara. Gaara was so confused. Sensei was just standing there. My life got worse. I was fearing that any minute Miyavi would be at that door, ready to fight Gaara. What could be worse?

"SASUKE! ARE YOU IN THERE?!" I froze completely. "SASUKE, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU!"

"THAT BASTARD IS _NOT_ AT OUR FRONT DOOR!" I immediately looked to Gaara. His eyes looked like fire. He was so upset. So so upset. I closed my eyes and swayed a bit. My heart was racing.

"Gaara... don't." I said quietly. "If we're quiet, he'll leave." I leaned forward to grab him. But it was too late. I opened my eyes and Gaara was no longer standing in front of me. "Gaara, NO!" I turned and saw Itachi at the door with Gaara's neck in his fist. "ITA-" My mouth was covered and I tried to squirm but someone had me in a death grip. I manaaged to turn a bit to see who had a hold of me. I bit his fingers to speak. "Sensei?!"

No sooner did I say this, a cloud of smoke engulfed me and I choked. I pushed away from my captor and jumped off the couch, landing on the floor by my television. The smoke cleared and Itachi was right beside me. "SHIT!" I yelled and pushed back from him. He was staring at me. I noticed Miyavi was now behind him and Gaara was knocked out over his shoulder.

"Are you really that much of an idiot, little brother?" Itachi's voice was cold. It shot a shiver up my spine. I hated how I trembled at his prescense. I wanted to kill him. I wanted him to stop breathing. But... I always froze. Always.

"What do you mean?" That's all I could say.

"You go and get attatched to someone. Oh, and on top of that major life decision, you don't even take the time to notice that your little Sensei was really Miyavi." He grabbed my chin. I winced. He made me stand with him. Once I was standing he let me go. I stepped back from him. "Why do you run from me, Sasuke? You've had so many opportunities to destroy me it's ridiculous." I looked away from him. I just stared at Gaara. "HEY!" I didn't look at him. "SASUKE, I AM FUCKING TALKING TO YOUR DUMB ASS!" **SMACK.** I winced. I lost my balance a bit and let my body hit the wall behind me. I covered my cheek where he hit me.

"Now are you going to look at me?" I slowly turned my head in his direction. I couldn't feel my expression. The whole right side of my face felt swollen, warm, and numb. "Don't look at me like that. All afflicted. How could you think anyone could really love you?" My stomach was so tight.

I looked over at Miyavi. He was _grinning_. "Miyavi's with me, Sasuke. Always has been. Always will. He never loved you. This Gaara doesn't even love you. You're weak. You can't even kill your own blood."

_There are just too many times that people have tried to look inside of me, wondering what I think of you and I protect you out of courtesy._

I dropped my hand.

"It's all a lie, Sasuke."

_Too many times that I've held on when I needed to push away, afraid to say what was on my mind afraid to say what I need to say._

My body felt lifeless.

"How could you think Gaara wanted anything more from you?"

_Too many things that you've said about me when I'm not around, you think having the upper hand means you gotta keep putting me down._

I wanted to die.

"You're pathetic. You're just a piece of ass to fuck with."

_But I've had too many standoffs with you it's about as much as I can stand so I'm waiting until the upper hand is mine._

I cringed.

"Like now, you're not even defending yourself. Nothing. Just standing there."

My heart stopped beating.

It must have.

Because I couldn't feel.

I was so angry.

So upset.

So furious.

Enraged.

Vengeful.

I wanted him to...

"Die."

I said it. That word came right out of my mouth. I slowly looked up at him. "What? What did you say, Sasuke? Say it louder."

"Die." I grinned slowly at him.

"Louder, Sasuke, Miyavi missed it."

_(One minute you're on top) The next you're not watch it drop (Making your heart stop) Just before you hit the floor (One minute you're on top) Next you're not missed your shot (Making you're heart stop) You think you've won (And then it's all gone)_

"How about _you_ just listen? I said, _fucking_ die." I kicked my leg against the wall. A piece of the broken ceiling tile above fell it my open hand and I lunged forward at Itachi, grabbing his neck and pressing the sharpened edge into his stomach. My action felt like it took twn years to do but it was a matter of seconds. Itachi winced a little and grabbed my neck with his free hand. I felt a warm pain shoot up through my stomach to my chest and neck. We were both trying to get the other down but he managed to win that struggle. Height.

"Oh little Sasuke." He pressed me harder onto the ground. I felt my back pop. "So little." I grunted and twisted the tile in his stomach and shoved it in deeper to where I couldn't hold it anymore. Blood poured all over my hand and he gasped a little. My breathe was taken as well when the kunai he had in my stomach scooted deeper.

"FUCK YOU!" I used both of my hands to grab his shirt and throw him across the room at Miyavi. Miyavi dropped Gaara and grabbed Itachi. Gaara hit his head on the window, cracking it a bit, before landing on the ground beneath it.

"Are you okay, Ita?" Miyavi touched his stomach.

"This is not over." I jumped at Itachi. Itachi turned around and caught my stare. I seemed to be frozen in time. We kept staring at each other. Soon I felt my body drop to the ground and I was in another place. I looked around. I was in my bedroom. No Miyavi. No Itachi. I looked to the side of me. Gaara was sleeping peacefully beside me. I was in a cold sweat.

Gaara woke slowly and looked at me. "Good mor- Sasuke are you okay?!" He leaned up and pulled me closer to him."

"Where's Itachi? And Miyavi? What happened?" I was so confused. So lost.

"You must have been dreaming. It's just me." He hugged me. I relaxed a little. "I love you so much. It's alright." My breathing began normal. I cuddled up to him. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep.

"Sa..su...ke..."

"Gaara?" I looked up at my beloved and his face was completely scratched. He had blood all over his face and body. I scooted away. There was dripped blood all over where he was touching me. "Gaara! Gaara, what happened?!" I pulled him closer and touched his face.

"You fucking did this, Sasuke! You did this!" I looked at my hand again and there were two kunai in it. I looked at his body and there were cuts and holes all over.

"Gaara.. I didn't..." I threw the kunai and tried to pull him closer to me again. "Gaara I..."

"NO! YOU TRIED TO KILL ME! I HATE YOU SASUKE I HA-" Gaara choked. Blood was gushing from his wounds and mouth. He fell backwards and flipped onto the floor.

"Gaara! Rakun! No.. baby.. no!"

I felt my body drop to the ground and I was in another place. I looked around. I was in my bedroom. No Miyavi. No Itachi. I looked to the side of me. Gaara was sleeping peacefully beside me. I was in a cold sweat.

Gaara woke slowly and looked at me. "Good mor- Sasuke are you okay?!" He leaned up and pulled me closer to him."

"Where's Itachi? And Miyavi? What happened?" I was so confused. So lost.

"You must have been dreaming. It's just me." He hugged me. I relaxed a little. "I love you so much. It's alright." My breathing began normal. I cuddled up to him. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep.

"Sa..su...ke..."

"Gaara?" I looked up at my beloved and his face was completely scratched. He had blood all over his face and body. I scooted away. There was dripped blood all over where he was touching me. "Gaara! Gaara, what happened?!" I pulled him closer and touched his face.

"You fucking did this, Sasuke! You did this!" I looked at my hand again and there were two kunai in it. I looked at his body and there were cuts and holes all over.

"Gaara.. I didn't..." I threw the kunai and tried to pull him closer to me again. "Gaara I..."

"NO! YOU TRIED TO KILL ME! I HATE YOU SASUKE I HA-" Gaara choked. Blood was gushing from his wounds and mouth. He fell backwards and flipped onto the floor.

"Gaara! Rakun! No.. baby.. no!"

xxx

"Sasuke! Kekun! Wake up! God, Sasuke, please wake up!" I heard Gaara's voice faintly in the darkness. I slowly opened my eyes and squinted them again. It was too bright to open them. "Kekun...?"

"Gaara...?" I felt a body over mine. There hands were holding my right hand. I felt them now. I could feel. There was a sharp pain in my stomach still. What had happened? Was I dreaming?

"Kekun, talk to me."

It was Gaara.

"Rakun..."

I squeezed his hands.

"That's right, baby, keep talking. Squeeze my hand again."

I obeyed.

"Are you okay? Does your stomach hurt?"

"Yeah..."

I slowly opened my eyes. "It's so bright, Rakun."

"I know, I'm sorry. It's a hospital. Not much I can do."

"Are you okay, Rakun?" I slowly turned my head to see his beautiful face.

"Yeah, I'm okay. When I regained my senses I saw you laying on the floor behind the couch. Miyavi and Itachi were no where to be found." He smiled at me. "Everything's fine."

"I'm glad you're okay. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you..." I whispered. Talking loud made my throat hurt a lot.

"No, Kekun! I'M sorry I didn't protect YOU! God, you were so fucking brave and I was knocked out the first two seconds. I love you so fucking much. I'm so sorry I didn't protect you from them. I should've killed Miyavi. I should've kept you from getting stabbed. I should've saved you." I raised my hand to his cheek. Slowly. "I should've..." He trailed off.

"Do you really love me, Rakun?"

"What?"

"Do you _really_ love me, Gaara?"

"Kekun, I love you more than anything or anyone in this world. If I could live only off of you, I would do it." He was so serious. I saw it in his eyes.

"Say it again, Rakun."

"What again?"

"Say that you love me again."

"I love you, Kekun."

"Again."

"I love you, Sasuke."

"Again."

"I love you, Sasuke Uchiha."

"Again."

"I love you."

"Okay, come here." I scooted over slightly and patted the space next to me. He smiled and lowered the rail to scoot in bed with me. He wrapped his arm around me and I cuddled up to him. "Okay, one more time, then kiss me."

"I love you so much, Kekun." He leaned in and kissed my forehead.

I smiled and closed my eyes. We sat there in silence for about an hour when I finally said, "I love you, Gaara."

"That's good. I was beginning to worry. I kept saying it and you never replied." He chuckled. Which, might I add, he rarely did.

"Well I love you a lot. More than anything and anyone. And... you know what I was feeling when I thought you were going to be killed?" I looked up at him. (By the way, I had managed to be on my hurt stomach, lying in between his legs after an hour. I wiggled. Alot. Anyway..)

"What?"

"That I had lost it all."

"What all?"

"Everything. Every purpose to live. Every feeling in my soul. Just everything."

"Well... I still think you lost it all."

"Why is that?"

"Well, you traded everything and everyone for me, because you love me, and I've become your everything, right? So, you've lost it all, but, you have me." He grinned.

"You're a sneaky dog, Rakun." I grinned back. "But I love you!" I leaned up and kissed him gently.

"And, Sasuke, I love you. Every single inch of you. For everything you are. And everything you will be. I am glad I lost it all and gained you."

I cooed and rubbed my nose against his. "What do people do with this kind of love, Rakun? Where you feel there must be a God because how the fuck else did two people so perfect for each other meet? I mean... your heart beats with mine. We're so in love. Even after this. I don't know if there is a step beyond this love."

"Oh there's a step." He grinned.

"Really?! What's the step?" I looked up at Gaara with childlike eyes. I was so content with that moment. I've never been so happy in a hospital bed.

"Hold on." He smiled. I watched him as he reached down and unzipped his pocket. Soon he was leaning up against the wall behind the bed and I was straddling him, watching as he slowly pulled out a small, black, square box. He looked at me. I looked at him. "Sasuke..."

5.

"Gaara?" I realized what that box was...

4.

I took a deep breathe as he slowling opened it.

3.

Almost open.

2.

The inside had black padding and cushion.

1.

There. In the box. A beautiful silver ring. It was silver all the way around. There was a small diamond on the ring. It wasn't a man's ring. But I adored it. I stared at it for a second and then looked at Gaara. My hands were on his forearms. I wanted to scream like a girl. Right then. Right there. But I held it all in.

"Sasuke Uchiha, will you marry me?" Gaara was smiling yet so, so serious.

"Yes... yes, Rakun! Yeh fucking esss!" I grabbed his face in my hands and pulled him closer for a long, romantic kiss. We stayed in that kiss forever. I even ground my hips down on his. I loved him. I loved him so much.

He pushed back away from me a bit. "Here, let me put this on you." I handed him my hand immediately and he placed the ring on the correct finger. "A perfect fit."

"Well of course you'd know what size my fingers were..." I grinned and scooted as close as I could to him. "They're been in your mouth and up your ass countless of times."

"Ahh baby, I wanting to make love to you but you just ruined it!" He pushed me back a bit, teasingly.

I tried to pull closer. "Oh why?! Rakun!"

"Talking about my ass and my mouth and how you've made the two connect? Come on! That sounded like you don't wash your hands and make them.. ew!"

"Rakun! I love you! Come on, make love to me, BABY!" I pulled him back on top of me as I laid on my back. We kissed.

And when our kiss deepened. My clothes were off. His clothes were off. We were close. AND engaged.

Baby,

I lost it all.


	11. New and Improved Story!

HELLO EVERYONE;

Just thought I'd add a chapter here so you all would know:

I'm going back and editing everything; one chapter a day.

I have Chapter One and I'm working on Two for today! :D YAY

Thanks for everyone who has read & will read the edited version.

**NOTE**;

The edited version will definitely have some minor AND major changes alright? Thank you!

Mind you,

This will be extremely difficult because my friends and I have been watching old animes like Sailor Moon and Digimon all night. It's been great! Haha so if I mention Digimon then… you know why. Haha just kidding, I'll be more careful.

But I do know some Naruto spoilers now… dang. /:

Goodnight everyone!

Enjoy the new-ish story!


	12. New Chapter One & Two

_**Lost it All**_

Aoi: I'M BAAAAAAAAAACK! I know you all missed me!! Haha I decided this was ridiculous and unedited and since you all loved it, why not edit some before I write the sequel? ;D I'm so nice. I know.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters. I do in fact own Miyavi Ichiro who is the small-part original character. Note: He's only in the story to deepen the plot.

**Warning**: It's a yaoi, people, written by Amichan so it's going to have sexual content and language. Do not say I didn't warn you. (but also remember: the whole story isn't going to be like that so don't think I'm some perv -;;)

Chapter One: Sasuke's POV

Introducing: A blast from the past… Miyavi Ichiro!!

I looked around the room.

_What in the world happened last night?_

I rubbed the back of my neck and shook my hair. The skin on my neck felt sticky, like dried sweat. I looked at my fingers, thinking, _Seriously, what happened_? My hand dropped and I felt something hard. "What?!" I turned quickly and looked down at my hand, spotting a… a guy?!

I pushed back and off the bed, slamming onto the floor. "Whoa! What?! Fire!"

The guy woke up immediately and thrust himself up, looking around. He spotted me. "God, Sasuke, you scared me…" He sighed and relaxed, giving me an easy smile.

"How… how do you know my name?!" My heart was speeding. He looked a little familiar but I couldn't think of who he was. He had messy bleached hair, giant green eyes, light-mocha coloured skin, and a nice smile. I was terrified of him being in my bed... naked. But still... his persona made me calm down a bit.

"Sasuke, stop playing games, you have to remember last night. It's been the best time I've had in, well, forever…" His voice trailed off and he pulled himself to sit on the side of the bed. "It's me, Miyavi… Ichi-chan, I knew you and your brother before he… went insane, and…" He paused, smiling, "And you had the biggest crush on me." He looked up at me.

I froze. He's got to be kidding. The last time I saw Miyavi he was pale… and scrawny… and nothing like this! "Stop playing me." I put my hand on my hip. "Miyavi was a wimp." He laughed. "What?" He shook his head, leaning his elbows on his knees and resting his face in his hands. "No, what?"

"That's what you said last night…" He shook his head and looked back up at me. "So you honestly don't remember? I mean, I know we drank a little, but, wow you must have been really drunk." He sighed.

"I'm… sorry…" I watched him, stepping forward and held my hand out. I wanted to touch him. If he really was Miyavi, he couldn't possibly mind, but, I couldn't. I pulled back my "touch impulse" and kneeled down. "Help me remember."

_Wow, I'm acting like a wuss. Damn, I need to get out more_.

He looked up at me and smiled warmly. "Do you want a reenactment?" I watched as his arms slipped down and I felt his fingers slipping underneath the elastic band on my loose sleeping pants.

"Will it hurt?" I questioned.

"I can't promise."

"How do I know you're really _my_ Miyavi?"

"Because…" He grabbed my hand with his right hand and pulled it to the back of his neck. My fingers trailed his warm skin and I felt something like a… scar? "You're brother left that on me for telling you that when you were older, I'd let you have my heart." He grinned. I flushed madly.

-

_"Look, Sasuke, can you keep a secret?" He smiled. I nodded. He grabbed my hands and pulled me in between his legs. "I told your brother, in a joking fashion, that I wanted you to take my heart when you were a little older. He hurt me, pretty bad." He pulled my hand to touch the back on his neck, I felt a scabbed wound. It was long and I'm sure deep._

_"Ichi-chan!" I squealed, fighting back tears._

_"Shh-shh." He pulled my hands away from his neck and kissed my fingers. "It was well worth it because I will never ever forget. One day, I'll give it to you, okay?" I smiled and let him kiss my fingers over and over and over._

-

"Miyavi…"

I shook my head. I felt tears coming on. I choked them back and let myself wrap my arms around his neck. He was my other "protector" when I was a child. Itachi and he were friends but Itachi was always keeping us from being alone. I always felt something for him. But once my family was murdered he disappeared with Itachi. The last I heard was that he and Itachi were more than "just friends".

I wanted to re-meet him, get to know him again and figure out his most dark depths. "Don't leave again. Konoha isn't much but it's better than wandering."

He pulled me back from him grabbed my chin with his fingers. "Don't worry, you're old enough now." He smiled.

"For wh-" Before I could finish, his lips were on mine. My eyes were wide open and I couldn't move. I was so confused. He did that a lot, I remember. Confuse me.

I jumped once I felt his fingers left my chin and intertwined with my own. The touch was so gentle and I felt so safe and right, but, I knew I couldn't be doing this. I was seventeen and how old could he possibly be- 25?!

Once the kiss was broken and pulled back a bit. "Miyavi…" I started. I could do this, I thought. "Miyavi, you have no idea how right I feel here with you, but, you're what… twenty-five now? And I'm just seventeen and besides…" I paused.

I didn't really want to tell him about Gaara but I guess I had no choice, he was the only excuse I had at the time. "I have someone who's in my life," I continued as he listened patiently, "And right now, he's been all I've ever known. He came in and took over. I gave him a promise I would be there, not here, in my room, with a blast from the past.

_Whoa, I really said that_?

He nodded, shaking his head.

"And I'm sorry if we had sex or something and you're…"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa… you think we had sex? No, Sasuke, love, I didn't have sex with you. You were drunk, I couldn't do that to you. But, look, I see, I understand. This guy must mean a lot to you." He stood and walked right passed me, looking for his clothes. "I just, never forgot about you, all these years. I've always waited for you. Itachi finally didn't give a fuck anymore so we split." He started putting on his clothes.

I blinked. My brother? They split?! I froze. He was walking out, he said goodbye, he was leaving.

"Wait, Miyavi!"

He was out the door, out of the house. I rushed after him, not caring that I was half naked and not caring if anyone saw. He just admitted to breaking up with my brother for me. He just admitted to loving me. And I used to love him. Why was he leaving?

Gaara… fuck Gaara.

No, right now.

Miyavi.

Fuck Miyavi.

"Wait!" I called, grabbing my old flame's arm. "Just wait…" I whispered.

He turned slowly. "What?" He blinked down at me. He was pissed. But who wouldn't be after that? I was extremely rude.

"Don't go, you promised you wouldn't." I reminded. "Just… let's figure this out and work it out and…"

"Oi, bitch-!" I heard a very familiar voice behind me.

I turned to spot him.

It was my boyfriend.

Gaara.

"Oh! Hi!" I smiled brightly.

_What was that? Once I saw Gaara I turned into some whipped little puppy? Yeah. That was it._

"Who's your friend?" He asked, rather, demanded an answer with his tone. His hand slid onto my bare back and down to my hip. His fingers went under the elastic. I gulped. Miyavi looked even more pissed.

-Chapter One, End

Aoi: Well I fixed some things. I hope it made more sense! On to Chapter 2!

_**Lost it All**_

Aoi: Kunbawa, everyone. Here we go again! Edit edit edit ;D -flails-

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of it's characters. I do in fact own Miyavi Ichiro who is the small-part original character. Note: He's only in the story to deepen the plot and make it complex. I like complexity.

**Warning**: Sexual content, language, and violence.

Chapter Two: Gaara's POV

Almost Discovered

I felt my blood boiling inside my body as I gripped onto my slut's hip. I felt him shiver. I felt his heart beat ten times faster than before. I could hear him inside his head thinking for an answer that would satisfy me; though little did he know that none would. His voice quavered as he answered me, "He's my brother's boyfriend."

Heh, there's no way he expects me to believe that.

I looked the other guy up and down. He appeared in his twenties, light tan skin, green eyes, bleached hair... he was simply disgusting. There was no reason, to me, that Sasuke could possibly be even somewhat attracted to such a vile looking guy. But, none the less, I couldn't rule out the possibility. "Introduce us, bitch."

"You know, it's not polite to call someone you call your lover a 'bitch', you little fucker." The guy snapped at me. I chuckled. "What's so funny?"

"Gaara…" I heard Uchiha whisper.

"Shut up," I told him and then looked up at the other guy. "I can call Uchiha whatever I want as long as I call him what he is: a slut, a bitch, and a whore. He's all mine." I tossed back to him.

I saw him stumble and his whole body shiver. "You little…" He lunged for me but before he could touch me I noticed Uchiha, who rushed in between us. I felt his hand on my arm and I watched has his other hand lightly graced the intruder's chest.

"Miyavi… don't…" He said, his voice full of anger.

"Sasuke-kun, you can't let this little… bitch call you those things. You deserve better than that shit." 'Miyavi' exclaimed, stepping back and throwing his hand down.

"He's not usually like this, Miyavi-san, he takes care of me. He can call me whatever he wants." He was right. I owned him. He needed, pleaded for someone to be there and say they would protect him. That's what he told me he wanted. I promised to give that to him and he promised to submit to me.

"Sasuke-kun…" The guy was attempting to plead with Sasuke.

"Just don't leave Konoha, Miyavi, we need to talk more." My little whore told him softly. "But, I think, for now, you should go."

"You're serious?!"

"Please…"

The 'Miyavi' stumbled backwards and rushed off.

Pathetic.

Sasuke turned and glared at me. "Why the fuck were you being such a bitch?!" He slapped my arm. I chuckled and that turned into a burst of laughter. "Bastard!" He stormed off back inside his house.

"Baby, I was just playing around with you." I calmed down my laughter and followed him. "Sasuke-koi." I caught up with him and grabbed his wrists. "Stop…"

"Get off me! I'm pissed with you!"

"Stop…" I turned him around. He struggled as I pulled him into me. "Stop…" He held his face as far away as he could. I grinded my body up against his and I saw him trapping back a moan. "Koi…" I pushed harder into him and he arched back into me. "Good boy." I cooed in his ear.

"I could really hate you…"

"I know…"

He gave in and I started my usual torments on his neck. My tongue, teeth, and lips consumed his warm skin. He felt so wonderful in my mouth and every gasp I heard escape from his throat went straight to my pants.

"Oh Gaa-kun, I think you can eat more than Kobayashi…" He grinned and I did as well. I knew I could and I would. I bit down on my lover's neck. I heard him moan and his fingers gripped my hair, holding me to his neck. "Harder…" He gasped. I obliged.

We quickened our pace and kissed each other fiercely. Our tongues were discovering new parts of our mouths that we never realized were so pleasurable and appetizing. His fingers roamed my body as if he was looking for something. Once I noticed my clothes being pealed from my extremely warm body, I knew he found what he was looking for. I separated myself from him after my clothes were completely dismembered and I reclined back on the bed. "Strip." I ordered, leaning over and turning on the stereo.

Break me down, you got a lovely face.

"Gaara…" He cooed. He obviously knew the song. I had no idea what it was but he was grinning from ear to ear. His fingers played around his body as he mouthed some of the words.

We're going to your place, and now you've got your 'freak me' on.

His fingers slipped under his elastic band on his pants and snapped them before dropping them to the floor.

Scream so loud, getting fucking laid. You want me to stay, but I got to make my way.

The chair positioned up against the wall, facing the bed, became his new stage. I watched him wide-eyed. I knew exactly what he was going to do. His back was facing me, his head was turned to watch me, and he began sucking on his fingers teasingly.

Hey, you're a crazy bitch but you fuck so good I'm on top of it. When I dream, I'm doing you all night. Scratches all down my back- we're keeping right on.

After he was finished with his fingers, the pale slender miracles slid down his porcelain skin body and down to… no, he wouldn't. Those fingers hovered right over his opening. My opening. "No…" I whispered.

The words became background noise as I watched him pleasure himself right in front of me. One finger. Two fingers. Three fingers. He moaned and moved them in and out. I was going crazy from my front row seat.

Crazy bitch, crazy bitch…

I felt myself coming to my climax. I was going to orgasm. I knew it.

You're crazy, but I like the way you-

"FUCK ME!" I exclaimed right as my cum spew all over his sheets.

"Oh dirty Gaa-seme…" Uchiha was already up on me when I opened my eyes. He leaned down and started lapping up my seed. "But oh so yummy." I felt myself growing hard again just watching him.

"Sasu, please… you know I never beg but… I demand not to be teased." I whispered. He turned off the radio suddenly and met my lips with his own, delivering a bruising kiss.

I pushed him back on the bed and crawled on top of him and grinded into him as we kissed continuously. I felt his fingers wrap around my shaft and he began pumping it. I pushed into his grip and we continued to kiss. "What are you doing?" I asked after our kiss broke and he continued to work me.

"Making you really hard…"

"I already am…"

"Then fuck me."

I happily obliged. My hands separated his thighs and leaned away from him, flipping him over onto his stomach. He arched his back up, moving into a cat-crawl position and I kneeled behind him. "Rough?"

"And fast."

I grinned and leaned down to suck his opening for lubricant. I felt him shiver. I was over top of him, gained balance, and let my tip hover over his ass. "One…"

His body tensed.

"Two…"

His legs embraced mine.

"Three…"

His head was tossed back in abandon and I couldn't hold back any longer.

"Just go now, dammit!"

I slammed into him and he screamed out in ecstasy. My pace remained fast and rough, like he wanted. The only sound in the whole room was the slapping contact of warm skin on warm skin, Sasuke moaned in pleasure, and my teeth grinding together.

I felt so alive every time we connected like this. Our relationship began a year ago but we kept it a secret and we never did anything like sex until the past two months. It wasn't about the sex and though I hated to admit it, but, I was in love with him. I wanted him to be in love with me, but no one could honestly love me. I was hideously disgusting. I was even worse than that Miyavi…

"Ah!" I climaxed into Sasuke and he mimicked me on the sheets.

I pulled out of him and we managed to push the top comforter off the bed and pull ourselves under the sheets. We lay there, sideways on the bed, his head on my chest, my fingers in his hair, our feet dangling off the side. I was actually happy, for once in my life, at that moment. "Sasuke…"

He nuzzled his head in my shoulder blade and his body was almost lifeless on top of me. "Yeah, Gaa-kun?" He sounded rather content and adorable. That was unlike him, definitely.

I hesitated and took a deep breath, closing my eyes. "I think… I love you, Sasuke-kun." I felt his breathing on my neck stop and I opened my eyes.

Shit…

-Chapter Two End-


	13. New Chapter Three & Four

**WARNING**: If I wrote it, it's gonna be some boyboy mature love and some language.

**Chapter 3** (Sasuke's POV)

It shouldn't be that strange for me to hear him say that. Isn't that what people say to each other when they've been in a relationship for as long as Gaara and I have? But that was exactly it… it was Gaara saying. I recalled countless of times where I was seriously debating whether to tell him that I loved him.

Of course I never told him. That's why he hesitated telling me. You see, I wanted to tell him, because that seemed normal. But I was never sure if I really felt love.

"Are you sick?" I asked, too quickly for him I could tell. His face had a sign of pure shock on it. Sadly, I wish I was kidding but I wasn't at all.

Gaara looked really pissed off. I blinked. I really wasn't trying to be cruel or anything. "Sasuke, if you're just going to make fun of me then I change my mind." He pulled away and removed himself from my side completely.

"I'm not fucking around, Gaakun!" I leaned up and looked at him. "You're not one to say such things…" I turned my attention to my hands. I placed them in my lap to try and stop the shaking.

My head was spinning. Gaara and I had had our undercover relationship for a while. I have to admit, he's nicer to me when no one was around… obviously, but, he would never say he loved ANYONE. Especially me. I was just the guy he fucked out of pity and pleasure. Right?

"Kekun," He never called me that either. Unless, he wronged me, because I fell for that nickname. I felt his hands on my face and I was being made to look into his piercing eyes. He smiled in his little Gaara way (a half crooked smile that seemed almost painful) and I smiled back. I lightly reached up and touched the 'love' on his forehead as he pulled my hair out of my face so he could see me.

"I really do love you."

I smiled and shook my head. "You are insane, Rakun."

He laughed, "I know." He leaned into me and kissed me. I kissed him back and pushed myself into _my_ place on his lap. We were in my favourite "cute moment" position: the spider.

One would always see little children playing on the playgrounds in a park. Slides and spin wheels and ladders and swings. The people on the swings either pushed each other or swang together. Like the spider position. Pedophiles would see it as a turn on. I saw it as cute.

"How did we get this far?" I asked him softly after the kiss. He intertwined his fingers with mine while we just sat there in silence; foreheads touching and hair covering our shy faces. "Hm?" I finally sounded after a couple minutes of this.

"I don't know…" He whispered back.

"What would mommy think?" I teased him gently.

"Mommy would deny having a young son," He grinned and nipped at my bottom lip.

I laughed and fought him back with my mouth. I returned the nips with pulls and tugs on his bottom lip and he pushed me into a kiss and I fell backwards on the bed. He pulled away and grinned, pushing my legs up in the air. "Hey!" I laughed uncontrollably.

"It wouldn't be rape… you'd enjoy it too much."

"Gakunnnn!" I whined playfully, forcing my legs back on the bed. He leaned over me and kissed me again before whispering,

"Put some clothes on. We're going out." I looked at him wide-eyed as he pulled away and off of the bed. He scavenged the room for new clothes.

"Wait…" I shot myself up and looked at him. "What?!"

"I'm gonna take you out, it's time we did something outside of this fucking room." Gaara never ceased to amaze me. He dressed with such elegance and spoke so smoothly. It was great being with him, really, but...

I couldn't let the thought Miyavi go.

A blast from the past…

a very _attractive_ blast from the past.

I finally stood and walked over to a place beside Gaara and found my own clothes. I dressed and entered the bathroom to spruce myself up for public eye. I was excited. Miyavi was amazing.

No… Gaara.

Dammit. This is insane. Where the hell did I get off getting drunk with an old crush? I am such an idiot sometimes.

After I made myself pleasant enough for people (hair, clean face, etc.) I returned to our room to find Gaara gone. "Gaakun?" I looked around. He wasn't there. I walked into the hallway. "Gaakun!" I called. I called again, louder: "Gaara!" No answer.

"Bastard! I knew he was kidding!" I rushed down the last unchecked hall and there he was. "Why didn't you…" I stopped. In his hands was a random ribbon. I looked at it and then looked at his grinning face. "What's _that_ for?" I asked, pointing.

He held it out to me, "Tie it on my wrist good and tight." I froze completely.

What was he thinking? He was going to be out in PUBLIC wearing a RAINBOW ribbon with ME. Everyone in Konoha knew I was gay. I was the "homosexual whore" of Konoha now. That was my new reputation. Not that I minded, I mean, that's how I got with Gaara and it must have been how I saw Miyavi again. Anyway...

"Gaara, you don't have to do that." I told him.

"Tie it."

I sighed and took the ribbon, tying it like he wanted it: good and tight. "Are you sure?" He looked at me. Just looked at me. I looked away. "Nevermind." He then grabbed my hand and walked out of the door.

He would let go of my hand like he always did…

NOW.

No. He still had it. I looked down at our hands. Okay…

NOW! Damn.

He still had it. He was going to kill me. I let go. He stopped and turned to me.

"Am I no longer your boyfriend?" He asked in a normal voice. We were out in the street now and I looked around. People had heard him. People were watching. Was this a morbid test of his? I shrugged. "Okay, so, hold my hand." He took my hand again and started walking. "Are you hungry?" He asked me.

"A little." I nodded, slowly. This was all really confusing. I felt a knot in my chest from anxiety.

We walked farther. I watched as the people were staring at him. I didn't want him getting his own reputation because of me. The "poor newly gay Gaara being mind fucked by the gay whore". I saw it now.

He would end up hating ME for it. Like always. Everything was usually my fault when gay shit happened. But. Maybe that was what Gaara wanted. I shook my head and looked back to where we were going, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone.

Then. I got the eye contact from the one person I had been wanting to avoid: Miyavi.

He was talking to a girl. He was FLIRTING with a GIRL. He looked away from me and then to the girl, whispering something, then looking back to me. He was trying to make me jealous.

Stop it.

I looked at Gaara. "Ramen?" I shrugged.

Shit.

No, wait, Miyavi was…

"Miyavi."

"Gaara."

We walked right passed him. Once we entered the little ramen hut we sat down at the counter. He still had my hand and he sat, facing me. "Here, you order for us, I'll be right back." He leaned in and kissed me. I blinked and froze completely as he walked off to the outside of the ramen hut.

When I gained control of myself, I ordered two bowls for us. Original for him, spicy for me. I felt a hand on my back as I was finally relaxing and when I turned around to see who it was my lips were being touched, opened, intruded by someone else's mouth. Their hand went to my cheek and held me in the kiss. When they pulled away. I looked at them. "Miyavi, you're going to get me killed!"

"Itachi said you were old enough, and I know I'm not the only one who wants this," He smiled at me. I blushed completely, I know he thought I was the "other one" who did.

This was bad…

**Chapter 4** Miyavi's POV

My hand had made his final resting spot on the crook in Sasuke's neck. He just looked up at me, red faced and all. I grinned. He cast his eyes away. "Please don't do this… Gaara's just around the corner." He said this in almost a whisper.

I pretended not to hear him. "Sakun, can we meet up later?" I asked quickly, I knew Gaara would be back soon.

"You don't understand, Miyavi…" He replied.

"You want to." I told him and he nodded. I knew he did. He knew he did.

"Fine… just for a few minutes though. I'll meet you at eleven tonight outside the Konoha gate. Eleven sharp, I'm not waiting around for you." He told me quickly. He probably felt Gaara coming closer.

"All right." I pulled my hand away slowly. I smiled and walked to the corner of the restaurant and watched as Gaara came in and walked right passed me and returned to Sasuke. I grinned and slipped outside.

My steps were a slow saunter as I walked through the streets of Konoha, smile on my face. "It's all about the he said she said bullshit..." I blinked and grabbed my phone, answering it, "Ichiro speaking."

Ichiro, it's Kisame.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I stopped in mid-step. Kisame never called me, and if he did, it was a big emergency.

Itachi, as always. He sighed.

"What's wrong with him, though?" I started to walk again, slower than before.

He says he's 'ill' and you should come home to 'help' is 'ales'. I heard a tone in his voice. I don't know why he keeps me around, he has you. Nah, correction, he wants you. You're his puppy: he calls you, you come.

He was upset, of course. He's followed Itachi faithfully and still Itachi wanted me. I didn't know for sure if Kisame was like me when it came to his "heart's loyalties", but, it sure seemed like it. Itachi wasn't my type anyway. I went for the emotionally traumatized type.

(Ami: hahaha, if this didn't make you laugh, TELL ME)

"What do _you_ want me to do, Kisame?" I didn't want to piss him off.

Come back.

"Are you sure?"

Yes, if you don't, Itachi would kill me anyways… KISAME! Oh, shit. KISAME IS THAT AOI? Yessir. LET ME TALK TO HIM! Sir… Ami! Where are you? Have you seen my brother? Oh no, this was the trap.

Konoha, and yes, I have.

Shit. The truth? Bad move..? Good move..?

Well…? Okay move.

"I saw him, he… didn't remember me." Not a complete lie, but close.

How tragic. He was happy. I heard it in his voice. So Kisame's informed you of my ill state?

(Ami: Mind you, this is over-gay-manipulative-Ami's-version of Itachi. Haha inspired by a dream mind you...)

"Yes. Should I return?"

Yes, beautiful, that would be best.

"All right." I sighed to myself. I wouldn't be able to meet Sasuke like I had hoped. "I'm on my way."

Good, see you soon? I paused. I could milk the part of me being out of reach.

"Itakun, I was thinking, could I possibly just start fresh tomorrow? It's been a long day and I don't think I can travel all that way by dark anyhow." And now… wait.

Oh…

Oh? Oh. Oh was a weird response. I hated weird responses. "It would mean a lot to me if you would let me."

Well I am sure I won't die by tomorrow. SCORE!! I did a little dance to in my head. Bye, Aoi, be here early.

"Yessir. Bye, Itakun." I hung up my phone and continued walking. Five more hours and I would be seeing my Sasukun again.

How lovely the world was…

(Ami: Short chapter because… Miyavi needs to wait five frickin hours alone. Kaythanks. :D)


End file.
